LeBron's Investment: Cannondale goes urban

LeBron James, Cleveland ballar extraordinare owns a portion of Cannondale Corporation. I'm sure he makes little to no impact on the design and manufacturing of these bikes, other than the occasional custom or one-off bike produced for him and his friends.

Cannondale just "leaked" out some of their design photos of the latest Urban commuter bike which is foldable, features a single sided non-shock fork and some ridiculously cool wheels which will likely not make it to final production.

Design Sketches:

Prototype Photo:

Dry skin is not a sin

Please be kind to those around you, or those you love who you think have "dry skin" as you will witness it could be something far more serious.

Billboard of death

I'm not one to really be "up" on the absolute latest in billboard offerings throughout the country, however, i stumbled across this one online and simply had to post it.



Not only is it just deliciously risque enough to grab attention and be semi-virally spread throughout the Internet - but it's hilarious. If i had a family member die in Germany, or if i lived in that country - this billboard would be enough for me to make a stipulation in my last will and testament that i be cremated there.

Oh and get this - i found their website - not nearly as good as the billboard. Such is life (or death i suppose).
http://www.preiswerter-bestatten.de/

From spark to flame

How a simple request to a coworker: "Could you please keep it down a little bit" turned into something else - completely.

Hey David,

It’s really hard to quiet everyone down around here so I use headphones and listen to music. If the noise disturbs you today must be driving you crazy as you’ve had really vocal conversations going on all around you. I know I couldn’t make it without my headphones and music….just an idea. John and I aren’t as fortunate as you with Jay, we don’t have our desks right next to each other with a little window. I find there are times when you two are in conversation that I just have to pull out my headphones and deal with the situation. I figure the noise = productivity. I myself am happy to do what I can but conversation cannot be avoided and we are often working on projects where we need to exchange data verbally from what we see on our screen. Cheers

I would say "speechless" - but that was not the case!

PIR Debut

I had my first bike race ever last night and it was a blast. Now i know why these cyclists are so hooked to their sport, to the gear and the culture - it is fun, addictive and good for you (as long as you don't lay yourself out on the road too much).


Here's an aerial view of the PIR track - it's about 1.95 miles around.


I decided to man-up and hop in the Cat 3/4 division, which is relatively ambitious for a first bike race, but i figured my tri training and rides with Patrick and Jay would have me fit enough to at least hang in - and that was the case. I guess we were averaging around 27-28mph which is flying for that group, fast enough that we didn't get passed by the Cat 1/2/3 crew, which almost always happens.

For the most part i hung out in the back third of the pack to try and get a gauge for how people ride, be safe (even though it is NOT safe in the back) and get comfortable - oh, and NOT GET DROPPED. I only made one real move, and that was leading into the last set of curves (lower right on picture) on the last lap to try and get out in front of the group to be safe, and, you know, try to make people hurt at the end.

I popped with about 300y to the finish, but no-matter. I had a really great time and will definitely enjoy more bike racing in the future.

Cyclists understand

Fun post I did for Straub Photography

"A Straub-hosted, Nabisco-inspired note to salespeople:
You need not be slimy to be enjoyable"

At approximately 1:22pm on Thursday, August 2nd one of our favorite clients popped by the studio for a scheduled photo shoot. Making an immediate bee-line to the office of yours truly, Kristy Charrion he quickly was blocked by a Mr. David Straub with a petite, yet full Styrofoam bowl* of Nabisco(R) Wheat Thins. After a few "hellos" and some quick chit-chat our friendly, yet marvelously uncouth client confronted Mr. Straub with a shocking inquiry:

Beloved Client: "So David, are those regular Wheat Thins, or Reduced Fat?"
Mr. David Straub: (In all his eloquence, still working on a few crumbs).... "Regular, why?"

---- Now, anyone can see that the Client, who we are still quite fond of at this point as set the stage for potential disaster depending on how David is feeling that day... did he have his coffee this morning, is he perhaps a bit curious as to the nature of this question, did the client-we-like-so-much just upset the delicate balance of David's body image????? ----

Beloved Client: Just curious, don't get me wrong - i like them both, but the Reduced Fat ones just aren't as greasy and
do taste just as delicious.
Mr. David Straub: (Looking suspicious, and maybe standing a bit more upright and speaking in fluid sarcasm) uh huh,.... now, didn't you come here to shoot something?
Beloved Client: (Genuflecting, forehead to ground)... Mr. David Straub - i only meant to say that both were an excellent choice for your main-course of "lunch" today and that i find them tasty too....
Mr. David Straub: Perhaps, if we decide to let you in to our "We love our clients" party we'll serve up that special snack cracker and put your name on the bowl.... maybe. (Now you can see the trouble, all caused by the genuine love of non-greasy Wheat Thins)
Beloved Client: (Polishing David's Keen(R) sandals (which isn't necessary btw.)) That would be great, but don't go to any trouble....
Mr. David Straub: Actually, now that you mention it, i do remember the Reduced Fat Wheat Thins being quite tasty...
Beloved Client: (Relieved, wringing out sweat from handkerchief - a few tears of joy visible) They are nutritious as well.

Any spectator could plainly see that this issue of 10% caloric content created a powderkeg-like situation in the office of Ms. Kristy Charrion, if she weren't so well versed in eastern medicine and defenses (such as acupuncture & Jit-Kun-Do) as well as maintaining a "stash" of nitroglycerin, an AED and the whitehouse "Red Button" under her desk - this clearly could have elevated the national defense danger level. Thankfully the conversation moved on to the more typical stories of David Straub living in a supposed "Doublewide" and our client talking about the next triathlon he was going to race. The product shots came out beautifully, as usual and that day the only explosions at Straub involved many millions of photons in the warehouse flashbulbs.


Update: The day after...
Date: 3 August, 2007
Time: 9:07AM

During her morning rounds & inventory of photo supplies our lovely receptionist noticed thirty-seven and a half wheat thins (she's quite thorough) lodged in the insulation-lining around shooting station 11. Suspicions were confirmed when David Straub walked in with an oddly level laceration under his left eye and a bandage on his right index finger. With a smile on his face he popped into Kristy's office and said: "Got him, the Regular ones fly straight and true."


*Straub, including David Straub is very concerned with the health of our environment and normally elects not to use Styrofoam or other non-recyclable materials. In this case the bowl was a gift from a client, which we at Straub collaborative value above oxygen, so we use them over and over again - we promise... and have donated $5 to the world to offset the carbon effect of this blog post.

Straub's Website: Straub Collaborative
Blog: Straub on Blogspot

Meese Music & The Fray

I had the great fortune of attending The Fray concert at McMenamin's Edgefield last week. Beforehand I was aware that my roommate Patrick's good friends from Ohio (who are the opening band) Meese would be staying at our place for the night before the show. After being given a copy of their CD I was pretty impressed with the polished nature and expressive lyrics - especially for a band i'd heard absolutely ZERO about.

So, here's my chance to hopefully help a band I was completely blown-away by when the opened up the show with serious gusto for The Fray.

Meese:


Website: Meese Music

You can now buy their music on Itunes, which i have done to support this band, and you should all check 'em out as well, they are amazing and will be headlining their own concert series very soon, i'm sure. Get in before all your friends do - then introduce them!

A toe in the water

After submitting to my illness and allowing my body to rest, eat, and slowly recover I feel that Mono and I had a mutual understanding:

Body: "Okay Mono, i know you have to do your thing here, but please
just get it over with, don't come back and play nice while you're here".
Mono: "Look here body, I'm the new (temporary) Sheriff in town, so
what I say goes, as long as you keep your heiney on the couch,
supply me with ice cream, don't throw alcohol or other aldehydes
in my way and keep the running shoes off your feet we may just
find an amicable split after I'm done with you."
Body: "......"
Mono: "WTF, look, this isn't a negotiation - i'm just telling you how it is..."
Body: "FU, this is stupid, i'm going to eat a salad and go for a recovery spin"
Mono: "Look here, you wanna die or what? I will rupture your spleen if you cross me - i've done it plenty and have no qualms pressing the red button if you get a bit too animated with me."
Body: "No, what the hell kind of question is that?"
Mono: "Exactly, now we don't have to be friends, but let's just get along for the next 4-5 weeks."
Body: "Fine."

So yeah, that's how it went, now i'm much improved and have actually started running, biking, and swimming in a less structured manner... but DAMN it feels good to be back in it. Now it's time for a treat to get these feet in motion!

adidas adiZero Tempo - Good times with lightweight trainers

Movin' on up

I have to combine topics here to save time and energy on a moderately exciting week in my life which included moving, bad news, and 4th of July. At first i will attack these individually, then everything will likely merge together - which will make for a confusing, yet far more enjoyable tale of boxes, babes, big trucks and a god awful lack of beer.

Moving
Quite literally, i moved - duh. If anybody out of the zero readers who linger upon this blog happens to know someone who does enjoy moving, please let me know. Plain and simple - moving sucks a D, especially when you're just coming down from the acute symptomatic portion of mono. I look back to the past week as something quite similar to attempting to give a commencement speech to the Swarthmore literature graduates after yourself, having graduated with a business degree from a state school was out late the night before drinking and eating extra spicy hot wings with bean dip; sure, you'll get through it and probably survive the event - but it is not going to feel good, look pretty or impress anyone.

On the positive side, my room is all setup, broken-in and organized. I find that my lack of training, while having an adverse effect on my general fitness, body fat, definition and mental state actually has freed up an immense amount of time for me to do things like laundry, cooking and organization. Pretty soon I'll probably read all of the books left in my queue (that's British for "line-up" or netflix for "it's in the mail, son") and knit myself and my roommates matching, monogrammed sweaters - Ala Harry Potter.... i can practically picture it now.


This is me (if my name started with J and i were 6 years old), at home, killin' the queue, not training, with my sweater on.

Bad News
Having masterfully sequestered a large, patriotically pigmented (red) bucket full of beer from a work event a few weeks ago I was on my merry way back towards Portland on the 3rd of July when my phone rang (almost always a good thing). Since my doctor is away on vacation his nurse Laura called to inform me of the results of my blood test. Excellent! I thought. It turns out that my bout with mononucleosis had rocked my spleen (which i already knew) it kept me out of the octagon for a while (yeah right). It also turns out that it really did a number on my liver. Apparently when your liver is dramatically overworked by this viral infection, which leads to a minor case of hepatitis (not like that.....please). Wikipedia on Hepititis

The result of this phone call from the nurse was a completely unfriendly twofold:
* Absolutely no alcohol/energy drinks for the next 2 weeks
* No exercise for the same time period
WTF!BBQ??????
So let me get this straight, the two things i had stone-cold counted on doing the following day were wiped out of contention. I could no longer go for my much anticipated first run (jog) after being sick - an easy 4-miler, and i couldn't even get close to an open container of alcohol, let alone imbibe in, during my housewarming/ 4th of July fireworks-watching bonanza from my new spectacular apartment.

FARK! So i'm pretty sure i'm not going to die, but this is not cool at all. My liver enzyme levels were basically off the charts, which is measured by the amount of enzyme spilled over into the bloodstream. Normal operation runs on a scale of (0-32), mine was at right around 120 - holymothereffin whitewater overflow batman - not cool.


Picture my liver enzymes (in the raft), rollin' extra ferocious into my bloodstream (the river, get it)!

4th of July BBQ
The stars aligned just as the gods of used weber products blessed my keyboard as i scoured craigslist on Tuesday. I happened to find a moving sale by this fantastic woman who runs marketing for a local architecture firm. She was kind enough to let me swing by to look at the grill on tuesday night, and then with the help of Patrick "the utility friend" Marzullo and his season pass to everything flexcar we hopped in our borrowed Honda minivan, cranked the tunes and drove a full 1 mile from our apartment to her home - talk about crazy considence and outstanding proximity. We ended up getting the grill, which is a high-quality Weber genesis propane 3-burner BBQ with a tank, a cover and 3 awesome outdoor patio chairs for $100 bucks - what a bargain. Better yet - the thing actually worked like a champ for the gathering and i think it will be the highly valued 4th member of our home.

Friends started arriving right around 7pm, at which time i had awoken from a particularly restful, yet slightly too comatose nap. I showered, tried to wake up, but was in a state of supreme "mellowness" and shocking sobriety throughout the party. On the good side I got to see some outstanding people and participate in a fun night at the new pad, catch up with a friend, Kema whom i hadn't seen since our date like 10 months ago (not speaking the highest of my date skills, eh) and made sure people had drinks food, and a clean place to relax.

The projector was a huge hit, almost as impactful as the fireworks - but not quite :)

Here are a couple of shots which i really love from last night's celebration of our country's independence. I won't go off about our own celebrations while imposing strict sanctions on other nations, or bringing destruction and pain to other countries - but that was definitely on my mind as the fireworks launched, exploded and the colorful sparks cascaded throughout the night's sky.

Our view - before the show started.

Talk about a Kodak moment for these two eh? I think Garren pulled some digits that night!!

Look across the horizon at all of the fireworks launching - incredible timing w/ the camera.

One of my favorites.

Sweet squishee on a hot day

It isn't every day I come across a marketing "stunt" which excites me a great amount - i mean, to the point where I want to drive/fly/boat to the location of this activity to witness it. 7-11 has made a brilliant move in participation with the July 27th opening of the cartoon-animation "Simpson's Movie" by converting 12 of their stores nation-wide into simulated "Kwik-E-Marts", mimicking the store owned and operated by the character Apu.

Just sitting back and thinking about the publicity brought about for both the Simpsons movie and the 7-11 company I am honestly floored by the creativity and implementation of this concept. They have gone far enough to create specialty products to match the freshly-themed facade of the building, including:
* Buzz Cola
* Krusty-O's Cereal
* Squishies
* Cookies

Apparently there's a store in Seattle, and of course at least 2 in the Los Angeles area, but I'm seriously considering going up to Seattle within the next few weeks to experience this in person. As a marketer/advertiser, and a huge fan of well executed campaigns I feel it's important to see this in person and in a way, pay my respect to such an outstanding idea.

The Cartoon Store




The "Real" Store




The Specialty Products:

The "D Echo" is born

So i kind of went off on the Wieden+Kennedy creative blog today - i was harsh, yet honest and Jay seems to think i went a little over-the-top on 'em. I disagree on that point, instead i faced the work in a manner which would make Dr. House immensely proud - with truth and unrelenting ferocity.

Here's the link to the example of work being discussed (and my comment):
http://wkstudio.typepad.com/studio/2007/06/beavpeat.html



To be fair and advocate Jay's side:
Yes, they are working for one of the best ad agencies, with one of the most rich (vibrant, innovative) creative environments anywhere. They are sure to be very competent and highly skilled, likely with tons of great experiences in which to tap when writing and designing.

To argue my point:
What they wrote was mediocre, which is the worst kind of advertising or marketing material possible because it yields no reaction. If something is brilliant, masterful and evokes positive emotional response then you gain the trust and confidence of the audience; if something is horrendous, insulting or disturbing then you will burn an image or thought into the head of each witness, evoking another response, opposite in nature but not necessarily any less powerful. What Wieden did was slop and they should know it.

Notes on Mono

Well, let me be the last kid on the block to say it: Mono is entirely unpleasant

I went to the doctor thinking i was at the phoenix of my illness symptoms - that my general fatigue and discomfort was all i would experience, just more prolonged. Boy was i wrong. I went from painfully tired to painfully tired and in pain. The sore throat i had mistakenly thought had "skipped me" attacked with full fury courtesy of lymph-nodes and tonsils which are enlarged to elephantitic proportions. Even trying to swallow a mouth full of water feels as if i'm trying to funnel down a mound of hot, strong, dry tortilla chips.

It's no joke. I'm tired, but in so much general discomfort that i don't sleep well at night. I feel like my best rest is achieved during rare afternoon naps, otherwise it's just intermittent snoozes between tossing & turning between 9p & 8a. All i can think is if this lasts more than a week (at this intensity) i'm probably going to cut out my own tonsils and will be looking (even more rapidly) for a new job.

Okay, i'm tired.

I work fast

So, i really would like to work at Wieden and Kennedy or Leopold Ketel. I would have included Respond2 in that elite group, but since Patrick works there, i think working and living together would be a bit too much - plus i'm not down with the whole plug-in bide' thing on the main floor.

I don't know of Leopold Ketel is hiring right now, but i'm trying to think of a really creative way to drop off my resume and i think i have an idea involving some of their clients, the work they do, etc...

Wieden is hiring for only a very few positions, including a Senior Planner position, which i am not experienced enough to earn - but i think i'm going to apply just for shits. I know 2 people who work there, only one of whom i'd mention or use as a reference, so hopefully i at least get an interview....

Links:
Leopold Ketel
W+K

Notes:
Leopold Ketel used far too much of the "apple approach" in their website. It's clean, but they left out the personal touch which their work tends to convey.

Wieden's site is fucking OUT THERE, but i have to admit once you get used to it it's pretty awesome.

My 350 ft3 of torment

I will be the first to admit that I am a cranky, judgemental person - especially with my immune system gone haywire and a sudden, complete drop-off of training, however, the topic and content of this blog is true.

For the most part i do not like my coworkers, at least, my immediate coworkers. I've never met such a sorry group of individuals who are obnoxiously loud, and lack any sense of couth, style, and common sense. These unpleasantly-plump introverts live from scone to muffin to happy-hour and do so while completely disregarding the people among whom they work for hours every day. I hear conversations about food, about delinquent children who have "bad days at school", about back pain, rounds of medication, new medications and how some medications don't work very well. On good days one of my neighbors hums along with the music, on bad days she moans and sighs with unfathomable volume and longevity, as if the heartbreak and sorrow of the world is literally cascading out of her enlarged jowls.

The Call 10:07am - any day of the week
[Coworker] Hello?
[Phone] (can't be heard - unfortunately, i'm sure THIS would be very entertaining)
[Coworker] Honey, we talked about this, today is a short day and you were in such a good
mood this morning, remember to just hang in there until 1.....
[Coworker] What?
[Coworker] I can't understand you when you're yelling honey, please calm down, okay?
Breathe and calm down...
[Coworker] Honey, just calm down now, please
[Coworker] Okay, i'll talk to Mr. Jackson and see if we can get you into "reading time" sooner
today, will that help?
[Coworker] (son's name), calm down now, use your words, please.... your screaming doesn't help
anything and mommy has work to do, okay, so....
[Coworker] Yes, i know i didn't answer my phone when you called before, mommy was in a
meeting, no darling, i couldn't answer it, i'm sorry you're having a bad day.
[Coworker] Okay, I'll call Darlene and see if she can pick you up. Make sure to take some
time when you get home and just relax, maybe have a snack and watch some
TV? I'll make sure everyone else tries to leave you alone, okay?
[Coworker] I love you honey, okay, i'll see you tonight.
[Coworker] No, you have to wait for Darlene to get to school, you'll have to go back to class
just for a few minutes - you can do it, okay?
[Coworker] I love you, bye honey, i love you


.
.
.
.

I'm not kidding, every goddamn day, this is my life at work. Please make it stop.

The Salvation
Well, aside from the paycheck, i do have the great opportunity (though not long-lasting) to work with a great friend of mine, Jay and our manager. If it weren't for these two guys I'm sure i would either have left by now, or would be the first confirmed death by "snorting thumbtacks" - either leading to a complete nasal blockage, or severe brain penetration, whichever makes everything go dark, warm and quiet works for me. Perhaps i should just look into other employment - hey, there's an idea.

Casting the first stone

This, my first post on an honest-to-goodness attempt at a "real-world" blog (aka, outside of myspace) should explain to all zero readers what it is i'm trying to convey here, from where i hail and why my lungs mysteriously continue to inflate - so here goes... in an attempt to keep it brief like BVD:

I'm really into oranges right now, partially because i can call them "dessert" or a healthy snack and the vitamin-C keeps my immune system up and running. This is especially important right now because i'm awaiting a phone call from my doctor any moment where he will unveil the shiny, bitter truth that i have mono and will be out of racing for the next month. This leads me to fact #1 about the author - I am an amateur triathlete.

If triathlon were categorized as cycling is, i would consider myself to be a CAT 3 triathlete, which i would define as "very new to the sport and competent, though not wholly competitive - yet". Many people would say i'm obsessed with the sport, which could be fair - but since i live a relatively balanced life i would prefer to switch verbs to "dedicated" or "passionate", which leads me to point #1...

Exuding Ferocity
I have so titled this blog to appropriately describe how i am living my life right now. Up until a couple of years ago i would say I was a people-pleaser and pretty non-confrontational. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness and personal gain far too easily just to "go with the flow". Over the course of many months i have come to get to know myself much better, and therefore my opinion of life, people and my own goals has changed dramatically. I now lead my life with passion, purpose and an honest sense of enjoyment.

Make no mistake, this blog will not be "organic" or "an exercise in self-discovery" or any of that new-age i'm-really-in-touch-with-my-yoga-instructor kind of generalized crap. That said, the lack of hippy-flow group-think here casts light upon my choice for the URL for this blog cahitb which stands for "cut a hole in the box" - a reference to the grossly overused marketing term of "thinking outside the box" which i think we all hate by now, as well as the absurdly hysterical SNL sketch performed by Justin Timberlake - I believe in Step 1, because few things are so ferocious. On a side note, i think most of us who live in NW Portland would actually quite enjoy getting close to our female yoga instructors.

I can guarantee to most people who aren't reading this that the blog will be heavily based on my own exploration through life which will include a heavy dose of triathlon training, marketing/advertising discoveries and rants/raves, a bit of obsession with appropriate grammar, spelling and punctuation, and references to just how much i hate getting dropped on the bike, love slightly more mature women with the bodies of 23 year-olds and have been forced to give up beer and dairy in order to save my immediate friends/family the noxious hate from my digestive system. This doesn't mean i give up on ice cream or gelatto though, fuck that - i just remind myself of the great words of Patrick Marzullo: "That shit will make you slow".

Fact of the day:
Nike "gave out" over 1500 versions of Bowerman and the men of Oregon to site guests, donated by the publisher due to a mis-printing run which omitted 35+ pages of material; I don't know if Nike is aware. These pages just so happened to detail the final months and tragic death of Steve Prefontane.... i discovered this last night as i magically was transported a year in advance with the flip of a single page. If I hadn't already scoured the book for any sign of such a logo, i would have said "That is so InFocus".