Notes on Mono

Well, let me be the last kid on the block to say it: Mono is entirely unpleasant

I went to the doctor thinking i was at the phoenix of my illness symptoms - that my general fatigue and discomfort was all i would experience, just more prolonged. Boy was i wrong. I went from painfully tired to painfully tired and in pain. The sore throat i had mistakenly thought had "skipped me" attacked with full fury courtesy of lymph-nodes and tonsils which are enlarged to elephantitic proportions. Even trying to swallow a mouth full of water feels as if i'm trying to funnel down a mound of hot, strong, dry tortilla chips.

It's no joke. I'm tired, but in so much general discomfort that i don't sleep well at night. I feel like my best rest is achieved during rare afternoon naps, otherwise it's just intermittent snoozes between tossing & turning between 9p & 8a. All i can think is if this lasts more than a week (at this intensity) i'm probably going to cut out my own tonsils and will be looking (even more rapidly) for a new job.

Okay, i'm tired.

I work fast

So, i really would like to work at Wieden and Kennedy or Leopold Ketel. I would have included Respond2 in that elite group, but since Patrick works there, i think working and living together would be a bit too much - plus i'm not down with the whole plug-in bide' thing on the main floor.

I don't know of Leopold Ketel is hiring right now, but i'm trying to think of a really creative way to drop off my resume and i think i have an idea involving some of their clients, the work they do, etc...

Wieden is hiring for only a very few positions, including a Senior Planner position, which i am not experienced enough to earn - but i think i'm going to apply just for shits. I know 2 people who work there, only one of whom i'd mention or use as a reference, so hopefully i at least get an interview....

Links:
Leopold Ketel
W+K

Notes:
Leopold Ketel used far too much of the "apple approach" in their website. It's clean, but they left out the personal touch which their work tends to convey.

Wieden's site is fucking OUT THERE, but i have to admit once you get used to it it's pretty awesome.

My 350 ft3 of torment

I will be the first to admit that I am a cranky, judgemental person - especially with my immune system gone haywire and a sudden, complete drop-off of training, however, the topic and content of this blog is true.

For the most part i do not like my coworkers, at least, my immediate coworkers. I've never met such a sorry group of individuals who are obnoxiously loud, and lack any sense of couth, style, and common sense. These unpleasantly-plump introverts live from scone to muffin to happy-hour and do so while completely disregarding the people among whom they work for hours every day. I hear conversations about food, about delinquent children who have "bad days at school", about back pain, rounds of medication, new medications and how some medications don't work very well. On good days one of my neighbors hums along with the music, on bad days she moans and sighs with unfathomable volume and longevity, as if the heartbreak and sorrow of the world is literally cascading out of her enlarged jowls.

The Call 10:07am - any day of the week
[Coworker] Hello?
[Phone] (can't be heard - unfortunately, i'm sure THIS would be very entertaining)
[Coworker] Honey, we talked about this, today is a short day and you were in such a good
mood this morning, remember to just hang in there until 1.....
[Coworker] What?
[Coworker] I can't understand you when you're yelling honey, please calm down, okay?
Breathe and calm down...
[Coworker] Honey, just calm down now, please
[Coworker] Okay, i'll talk to Mr. Jackson and see if we can get you into "reading time" sooner
today, will that help?
[Coworker] (son's name), calm down now, use your words, please.... your screaming doesn't help
anything and mommy has work to do, okay, so....
[Coworker] Yes, i know i didn't answer my phone when you called before, mommy was in a
meeting, no darling, i couldn't answer it, i'm sorry you're having a bad day.
[Coworker] Okay, I'll call Darlene and see if she can pick you up. Make sure to take some
time when you get home and just relax, maybe have a snack and watch some
TV? I'll make sure everyone else tries to leave you alone, okay?
[Coworker] I love you honey, okay, i'll see you tonight.
[Coworker] No, you have to wait for Darlene to get to school, you'll have to go back to class
just for a few minutes - you can do it, okay?
[Coworker] I love you, bye honey, i love you


.
.
.
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I'm not kidding, every goddamn day, this is my life at work. Please make it stop.

The Salvation
Well, aside from the paycheck, i do have the great opportunity (though not long-lasting) to work with a great friend of mine, Jay and our manager. If it weren't for these two guys I'm sure i would either have left by now, or would be the first confirmed death by "snorting thumbtacks" - either leading to a complete nasal blockage, or severe brain penetration, whichever makes everything go dark, warm and quiet works for me. Perhaps i should just look into other employment - hey, there's an idea.

Casting the first stone

This, my first post on an honest-to-goodness attempt at a "real-world" blog (aka, outside of myspace) should explain to all zero readers what it is i'm trying to convey here, from where i hail and why my lungs mysteriously continue to inflate - so here goes... in an attempt to keep it brief like BVD:

I'm really into oranges right now, partially because i can call them "dessert" or a healthy snack and the vitamin-C keeps my immune system up and running. This is especially important right now because i'm awaiting a phone call from my doctor any moment where he will unveil the shiny, bitter truth that i have mono and will be out of racing for the next month. This leads me to fact #1 about the author - I am an amateur triathlete.

If triathlon were categorized as cycling is, i would consider myself to be a CAT 3 triathlete, which i would define as "very new to the sport and competent, though not wholly competitive - yet". Many people would say i'm obsessed with the sport, which could be fair - but since i live a relatively balanced life i would prefer to switch verbs to "dedicated" or "passionate", which leads me to point #1...

Exuding Ferocity
I have so titled this blog to appropriately describe how i am living my life right now. Up until a couple of years ago i would say I was a people-pleaser and pretty non-confrontational. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness and personal gain far too easily just to "go with the flow". Over the course of many months i have come to get to know myself much better, and therefore my opinion of life, people and my own goals has changed dramatically. I now lead my life with passion, purpose and an honest sense of enjoyment.

Make no mistake, this blog will not be "organic" or "an exercise in self-discovery" or any of that new-age i'm-really-in-touch-with-my-yoga-instructor kind of generalized crap. That said, the lack of hippy-flow group-think here casts light upon my choice for the URL for this blog cahitb which stands for "cut a hole in the box" - a reference to the grossly overused marketing term of "thinking outside the box" which i think we all hate by now, as well as the absurdly hysterical SNL sketch performed by Justin Timberlake - I believe in Step 1, because few things are so ferocious. On a side note, i think most of us who live in NW Portland would actually quite enjoy getting close to our female yoga instructors.

I can guarantee to most people who aren't reading this that the blog will be heavily based on my own exploration through life which will include a heavy dose of triathlon training, marketing/advertising discoveries and rants/raves, a bit of obsession with appropriate grammar, spelling and punctuation, and references to just how much i hate getting dropped on the bike, love slightly more mature women with the bodies of 23 year-olds and have been forced to give up beer and dairy in order to save my immediate friends/family the noxious hate from my digestive system. This doesn't mean i give up on ice cream or gelatto though, fuck that - i just remind myself of the great words of Patrick Marzullo: "That shit will make you slow".

Fact of the day:
Nike "gave out" over 1500 versions of Bowerman and the men of Oregon to site guests, donated by the publisher due to a mis-printing run which omitted 35+ pages of material; I don't know if Nike is aware. These pages just so happened to detail the final months and tragic death of Steve Prefontane.... i discovered this last night as i magically was transported a year in advance with the flip of a single page. If I hadn't already scoured the book for any sign of such a logo, i would have said "That is so InFocus".